Is death something so terrible and absurd that we are better off not thinking or talking about it?...Or is it possible to befriend our dying gradually and live open to it, trusting that we have nothing to fear? Is it possible to prepare for our death with the same attentiveness that our parents had in preparing for our birth? Can we wait for our death as for a friend who wants to welcome us home?
- Henri Nouwen, Our Greatest Gift: A Meditation on Dying and Caring
Inside the Great Mystery that is, we don't really own anything. What is this competition we feel then,
before we go, one at a time, through the same gate.
Rumi
Let him escape hospital and doctor, the manners and odors of strange places, the dispassionate skill of experts.
Let him go free of tubes and needles, public corridors, the surgical white of life dwindled to poor pain.
Foreseeing the possibility of life without the possibility of joy, let him give it up.
Let him die in one of the old rooms of his living, no stranger near him.
Let him go in peace out of the bodies of his life-
flesh and marriage and household.
Wendell Berry
For Individuals or Groups:
There are important questions we need to answer ahead of time so that our loved ones aren’t left with difficult tasks, not knowing what we would have wanted. Stating our desires in writing can also give us more control of our own end of life process.
Some of the important questions are:
1. Who will make health care decisions for me when I can't make them myself? How do I decide?
2. What are my wishes for the kind of medical treatment I want or don't want if I can no longer express myself?
3. What do I want my loved ones to know about my life, care of my body when I die, my funeral/memorial, or organ donation, etc?
4. How can I be certain my wishes will be honored or carried out?
Our physicians also need to know what our wishes are. Their work is to keep us
alive---and unless they clearly know what we desire, they will continue their work of tests and treatment until the very end. It is OUR job to prepare ahead of time so that our doctors and families know our wishes. If we do this work now, our last days can be spent doing the REAL work of dying: reviewing our life, giving and receiving forgiveness, saying goodbye to those we love.
Trudy can help. In her groups, in individual sessions, or by phone, she creates a safe, comfortable atmosphere within which to discuss and answer questions. She will meet with individuals or she will help you form or find a group of three or more persons to go through the process together. You will:
Fee Schedule Three one-hour sessions recommended, but arrangements can be |